top of page

Middle Ground

“Would I be better off alone or with someone driving me crazy?”

Middle Ground
00:00 / 02:14

Another apology feels appropriate. 

 

The last boy that showed interest in me I couldn’t bring myself to reciprocate. 

My heart was too tied to a different guy

that had a girlfriend.

 

I don’t know a better way to apologize

other than smiling at how he loves himself 

in ways I don’t know how to yet. 

 

There's a pattern here. 

You can question the legitimacy of my loneliness. 

My blood on my own hands. 

 

I’ve often been suicidal. Maybe this 

is how I practice. 

 

Understand it’s a lot to ask of someone to hold your mind in place when you can’t. 

Would rather let my issues gouge my eyes out. 

Destroyed so many great things by being

too much of myself. 

I cried the first time you mentioned a girl you like. 

I cried when you told me you didn’t want to talk to me anymore. 

Always find a reason to be 

sad. 

Handing love interests lists of reasons to not be interested.

 

The first step to healing is telling yourself the truth. 

How do you tell yourself you’re unlovable? 

 

I deserve this lonely. 

I deserve this nothing. This no one. 

Left on read. 

Empty house on Sunday. 

If you answered every prayer

I'd just keep asking for more. 

Cannot build a life with you because 

I am already a dead thing. 

Offering no solution for my lonely but for you to change everything about yourself.

Love you into the same coffin I was born in. 

I am so sorry.

bottom of page